Let loose a chuckle …

CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS

 1) Don’t let worry kill you.  Let the Church help. 

1 - church sign 2) Thursday night Potluck Supper.  Prayer and me-dication to follow. 

 3) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and com-munity. 

 4) For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs. 

 5) The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Mr. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. 

 6) This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church.  Children will be baptized at both ends. 

 7) Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social.  All ladies giving milk will please come early. 

2 - church sign 8) Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet.  Mrs. Jones will sing “Put Me In My Little Bed” accompanied by the pastor. 

 9) Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.  All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study. 

 10) This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. 

 11) The service will close with “Little Drops of Water”.  One of the ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation will join in. 

 12) Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet.  All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper. 

3 - church sign 13) The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday. 

 14) A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.  Music will follow. 

 15) At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice. 

16) Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.  Please use large double door at the side entrance. 

 17) The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11. 

 18) Pastor is on vacation.  Massages can be given to church secretary. 

 4 - church sign19) 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new mem-bers and to the deterioration of some older ones. 

 20) Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes. 

 21) The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. 

 22) Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who is preparing for the girth of their first child. 

 23) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 

 24) The Lutheran Men’s group will meet at 6:00 PM.  Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel. 

 25) The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge—Up Yours.”

8 Responses to “Let loose a chuckle …”


  1. 1 Evie September 13, 2009 at 22:17

    Ahahahahahah a bit of fun every now and then in a very serious Catholic blog is very ….. very Catholic😀
    These church bulletin bloopers remind me of my summer camp. We collect them throughout the year and then share them at the camp. I love our summer camp organized by our Latin Mass Church. I love sharing a whole fortnight with over 50 Catholic young women. We laugh, we have fun, we pray, we sing, we have Mass every day, games, workshops, and so on. Camp is now one of the highlights of my summer.

  2. 2 anne bender September 13, 2009 at 23:40

    These are hysterical! My favorites are 4 and 13! I’ll be smiling all day!

    I couldn’t help but notice that you had 42 comments on your post about Satan. WOW! No wonder you can’t respond-you are just kept terribly busy reading everything! Even in religious circles, the devil is a popular guy! Our Bishop gave an Easter homily last year about Risus Paschales-The Easter Laugh. He said the devil hates it the most when we are joyful, and God always gets the last laugh. This post certainly helps put that nasty guy in his place, so thank you very much!

  3. 3 Davide September 14, 2009 at 01:48

    I have to go with the number 16 one… very funny! I also enjoyed this post. And I agree with Anne. God always gets the last laugh. By the way, what’s the deal with these Protestant churches. From these examples, they seem to be turning into restaurants. Have a good week everyone!

  4. 4 Mary Nicewarner September 14, 2009 at 02:38

    These had me in stitches! Especially 5, 10, 12 and 25! Thanks, Gabriella, I needed a good laugh today. I was feeling very grumpy.

  5. 5 Cinzia September 14, 2009 at 11:54

    YES!!! Just what was needed after that other post …

    Oh I am doubled over with laughing.

    Absolutely wonderful and completely hysterical. Funniest things I have read in a long time.

    My favourite? ALL OF THEM!!

  6. 6 Victor S E Moubarak September 14, 2009 at 12:04

    Brilliant … just brilliant.

    Thanx and God bless.

  7. 7 booklady September 15, 2009 at 05:36

    Hee hee! Loved it Gabriella! ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺

    Happiness is a good chuckle!

    ((hugs))

  8. 8 nazareth priest September 18, 2009 at 13:35

    Great post!
    One of my all-time favorites that I used to see every month in a local bulletin:

    Bingo next Sunday. Lunch will be served after: roasted beef, marshed potatoes, and ass. salads.


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